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Color Me Amazed. No, Bored. No, Intrigued. Oh, Never Mind.
by Roger White I’ve been chiding us humans pretty regularly lately for our failure to live up to the technological potential we held out for ourselves in our hopeful and not-so-distant past. Ah, we...
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Remembering Good Ol’ Vanilla Dad
by Roger White Like it or not, television has provided many of the touchstones of my life. It only makes sense, I suppose. So much of my youth was spent sitting on the floor, knees bent, legs splayed...
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Baby, You Can Drive My Car. (Just Don’t Park It.)
by Roger White Seldom can one observe such a wonderful outpouring of compassion and kindness from friends and neighbors as one witnesses during times of great trial and tribulation. It is during these...
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I’ve Seen the Future, and It’s Full of Zebra/Ostriches and Couchmallows
by Roger White If you’re like me, you have these nebulous questions in your head about what you might call life’s little givens. And, if you’re even more like me, you ponder on whether these questions...
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If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body . . .
by Roger White I read in the newspaper the other day that Austin-Bergstrom International Airport will soon be one of only 30 or so airports in the country to be blessed with the latest and greatest...
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Never Won Anything in Your Life? Now’s Your Chance, Nancy
by Roger White Ah, my fellow life travelers, sometimes the gods smile. Sometimes they merely grin. Other times they smirk or give you that suspicious kind of offhand stare that makes you think you...
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Hey, Fitz! Take This Footlong Hoagie and . . .
by Roger White Ladies (and you sleekly camouflaged metrosexuals), you must pardon me if I wax sportsetic once again, but my hackles have been raised. Mind you, I had a pretty cool topic this time...
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Eyeing the Cracks in the System
by Roger White Before we get started, life travelers, let me begin by saying I neither condone nor condemn drug and/or alcohol use by my fellow man and woman and other people, nor would I presume to...
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Amityville Ain’t Got Nothing on Me
by Roger White Those of you who follow along with the home version of This Old Spouse are surely aware of my fondness for all things Rod Serling, Alfred Hitchcock, and even a trifle Stephen King....
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Don’t Take Your Kitchen for Granite
by Roger White We’ve been camping out in our own house for weeks now, and I think I’m actually getting the hang of it. You see, my dear wife decided recently it was time to upgrade our kitchen and...
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The Jury’s Still Out on This Column. Way, Way Out.
by Roger White You’ll pardon me if I flex my whack-a-lawyer muscles again, but it’s not my fault this time. It’s true that I swore to my friends of the barrister bent that I would lay off for a while...
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Light Up a Smooth Chesterton’s and Enjoy This Column, Won’t You?
by Roger White Wow. I’ve been reading lately how these crafty internet marketing types prowl the vast jungle of blog sites on this here World Wide Webby thing to see which ones are getting more and...
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What If Thurber Never Got Shot? And Other Party Conversations . . .
by Roger White Did you know, fellow life travelers, that the wonderful author James Thurber was accidentally shot in the eye with an arrow by his brother while they were playing William Tell as...
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The Nitrous Before Christmas
by Roger White ’Twas the week before Christmas, and into my face I stuffed all sorts of candies, cookies, and delectibles saccharase. The fillings of my molars were hard-pressed to hold firm, And...
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Let’s Talk about Keith. And Teeth. And Sir Edward Heath.
by Roger White My reading list of late, aside from the requisite comics and sports sections, has included Life, the autobiography of Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards, or Keef, as most of you...
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Lenticular Haiku, by Sir Archie Ferndoodle
by Roger White Fellow time/space voyagers and other occasional devotees of “This Old Blouse,” I am more tickled than a duffel bag full of marsupials to announce the return of my dear friend, front...
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Follow the Tunisian Parakeet
by Hashiell Dammett In 1539 the Knights Templar of Tunisia paid tribute to Charles VI of Portugal by sending him a Copper Parakeet encrusted from beak to claw with the rarest of jewels; but pirates...
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Follow Your Dreams? Well, OK, But Have a Backup Plan
by Roger White Author’s note: For you dedicated, sort of dedicated, and even not-so-dedicated followers of TOS, I feel I must warn you in advance. This particular installment lacks any juvenile...
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Spread A Little Love
by Roger White Seeing as how it’s Valentine’s season, let’s talk about love. Love’s a funny thing, isn’t it? No matter how much of it you give away, love remains full and strong, always. If you chop...
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