And Now, United Airlines’ New Theme Song!

Announcer voice-over

“In light of United Airlines, shall we say, unique passenger accommodation policies, here with the company’s new theme, is United CEO Oscar Munoz:”

Munoz (with bat in hand)

(to the tune of “Jet Airliner” by Steve Miller)

(verse 1)

“You’re leavin’ home, tickets in hand

But the plane is full,

We got the right to throw you out on yer can,

And we just might crack yer skull.”

(verse 2)

“Your home might seem so far away,

And you feel like a wrong has been done,

But you silly customers have to make way

Because United staff is number one.”

(chorus)

“Ohh, on United jet airliners,

Be careful which seat you buy,

You may end up with quite a shiner,

But be sure to fly the friendly skies.”